Thursday, August 6, 2009

THELMA-By Nadine Noriega


It had all started when the lady who lived down the hall from
KOOKY CLARENCE, had come out, wearing her weird FISH
SLIPPERS----------the ugly things had actually looked like
SOMEONE HAD STAPLED THONGS ONTO SOME DEAD FISH!
She smiled at Kooky Clarence, and said that she needed a
ride to the store.
Thelma walked with a limp, and Kooky Clarence
felt SORRY for her. He gave her a ride on his bike, and then
after the store, he invited her to the movies. It was NICE,
except for the Weird People who were at the Movies!
Thelma was a HAPPY girl, despite her having the
limp, but Kooky Clarence realized that Thelma had the
strange ability to attract the crazies to the movie theater
--------she was NOT the person to go see a MOVIE with.
They sat in front of the family of obese individuals
who liked to kick the seats while eating loudly and breathing
even louder in a very arduous, uncomfortable way. While this
was going on, a guy a few seats down from them started
talking on his cell phone in the middle of the movie.
Two guys sat down practically right in front of
Kooky Clarence, and one of the guys – the tallest guy, who
had a clump of curly, oily hair – got up and then moved even
more in front of Kooky Clarence and Thelma, forcing them to
move down.
Things got REALLY weird when a big guy off to the
side decided he wanted some candy… and no, not just any
candy but KOOKY CLARENCE'S candy, the same candy that
his girlfriend – A BIG BRONTOSAURIC creature, whom he’d
been fighting with before the movie started –had a BAG OF.
Twenty minutes into the film, Kooky Clarence
heard, “I want my candy.” Not a shout, but not a whisper. A
few moments pass, and he get another, “I want my candy!”
This time, much longer. After a couple more rather loud
reques, his girlfriend HISSED at him, and gave him SOME OF
HER CANDY.
On the OTHER side of the theater, someone was
rubbing his hands SO LOUD, that the ENTIRE THEATER could
HEAR HIM! Kooky Clarence noticed that the BRONTOSAURIC
CREATURE was LOOKING AT HIM in THAT SPECIAL WAY.
She EVEN WINKED at him. Kooky Clarence didn't KNOW
WHAT THE MOVIE was all about---he was TOO DISTRACTED
BY THE STRANGE PEOPLE IN THE THEATER---------and BY
THELMA, more specifically her beaded PURSE--------and what
was MOVING AROUND INSIDE IT! A small BALD HEAD with
BLACK BEEDY EYES poked out of THELMA'S PURSE. It shot
out a long FORKED TONGUE, and next to it's odd-looking
FACE, Kooky Clarence could see a small CLAW, hanging onto
the TOP OF THE PURSE!
Then, the VERY NEXT DAY, as Kooky Clarence was
taking the bus to the SAVE-A-BUNCH, a heavily bearded
man, wearing SUNGLASSES, who was in the seat next to
Kooky Clarence kept jumping up and sorting through his
enormous carry-on bag that he had stuffed next to Kooky
Clarence. The kid tried to ignore the man, but the man
knocked his SUITCASE over, and it fell to the floor near
Kooky Clarence's boot. It flew open to REVEAL A
MANNEQUIN HEAD-------------"...And it looked JUST LIKE THE
MANNEQUIN that was at the DAYROOM!" Kooky Clarence
told Sgt Falconian, excitedly, "YOU REMEMBER----the one
thatNADINE KNOCKED OVER----and her HEAD FELL INTO
MRS. McCARTHY'S SOUP?"

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