Saturday, August 8, 2009

Search For A Doctor-by Nadine Noriega


Sgt Falconian was eyeing a FLOWER-POWER toaster that was sitting on the edge of Mancuso's work area. The velociraptor had-----------that very day---------purchased the toaster, which was now SITTING NEXT TO HIS LUNCH PAIL.
"Wouldja LOOKIT THAT?" the little man exclaimed to Kooky Clarence, who was still and quiet. He---like Mancuso---------HATED the store at night. The place was SPOOKY. It gave KOOKY CLARENCE the HEEBIE-JEEBIES...The DARN place was like a TOMB...
Sgt Falconian went to the toaster. He plugged it in, and rifled through Mancuso's lunch pail. He found some BLUEBERRY BAGLES, which he popped into the toaster.
"Hey, YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING THAT!" Kooky Clarence pulled at Sgt Falconian's coat.
"Oh HE DON'T MIND..." the little man muttered. "We BORROW STUFF OFF EACH OTHER, all the TIME!" He pushed the lever down. "Why just LAST WEEK, he grabbed a HAM SANWICH I wuz savin' for Nadine..." He rifled through Mancuso's LOCKER, where he found a thermos full of hot coffee. "WANT some?" he asked.
"No" Kooky Clarence shook his head. He pulled his windbreaker over him. He looked around the storage area. "He came down HERE..." the young kid muttered. He was thinking of the bearded man with the briefcase.
Sgt Falconian cocked his head. Kooky Clarence continued. "He had BEATRICE'S head INSIDE THAT BRIEFCASE! He STOLE HER HEAD! WHY would ANYBODY want to STEAL HER HEAD?"
"I don't KNOW..."
"And I liked BEATRICE, TOO! Little Josie introduced her to me one afternoon after she CAME home from SCHOOL...So, HOW'S the NEW DOCTOR working out?"
Sgt Falconian shook his head. "We ain't GOT a new doctor just yet. Every SINGLE ONE of 'em either DON'T TAKE MEDICAID, or they HEARD ABOUT NADINE..."
Kooky Clarence was CURIOUS. Sgt Falconian poured some coffee into a cup he found next to Mancuso. The little man shook his head and muttered, "Nadine DOESN'T LIKE doctors!She HATES having to visit the doctor, she hates the check ups, she HATES blood-work, she HATES the SMELL of doctor's offices and how the other patients always COUGH in the waiting room. She gets very IRATE----that's a TERM POLICEMEN use--------with me! She HATES anybody wearin' SCRUBS and a stethoscope! She GOES AFTER 'EM, an' TRIES TA SCRATCH THEIR EYES OUT!!!"
The little man went to a filing cabinet that was next to Mancuso's lunch pail."This must be th' PAPERS he's been wantin' me TA LOOK AT..." He rifled through the file, and continued talking about the winged creature, and her INTENSE DISLIKE FOR DOCTORS.
"Nadine tends to get NERVOUS about things. Every TIME I have ta take 'er t' th' DOCTOR, she gets MAD. A couple MONTHS BACK, she had a BAD EAR INFECTION! I had ta HOLD HER DOWN for the DOCTOR to be able to look in her EAR! The NURSE had a HARD TIME even takin' her TEMP! I had ta GIVE HER her EARDROPS, myself, cuz she SCREAMED EVERYTIME TH' DOCTOR CAME NEAR HER!" The little man stopped at a pink piece of paper. "This must be IT!" he muttered.
Kooky Clarence looked at the paper. It looked like a MEDICAL RELEASE FORM. "Is THAT for a DOCTOR?" he asked, blinking at the paper.
Sgt Falconian nodded. "I had MANCUSO sign us up at TWO DIFFERENT CLINICS---------they're OUTTA th' NEIGHBORHOOD, SO they HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT NADINE, YET..." He went on to describe about Nadine's TANTRUMS, her stomach upsets, and her little accidents on the bus, and in the waiting room. "An' SOMETIMES, they ain't ACCIDENTS!" Sgt Falconian's brown eyes glittered. He ran a grimy hand through his unkempt hair. "Nadine is a little TERRORIST!" he muttered, and then his words rushed out of his mouth, as though they'd been locked inside him, for a VERY LONG TIME, "....I took 'ER to the PARK ONE DAY, and WE WERE BY THE PINE TREES, and she PICKED UP ALL THE PINE CONES THAT WERE SCATTERED ALL OVER TH' PLACE, an' I put 'em in a bag and GAVE 'EM TO HER, an' they NEVER LEFT her SIGHT! When I wuz givin' her her BATH, she hadda have it WITH HER. Then after THAT, SHE STARTED GRABBIN' CONES OF EVERY SHAPE AND SIZE! "Ethel, an' Rosemary an' even JOE THE COOK DOWN AT TH' DINER----------ALL HAD TA to NEW FUNNELS because NADINE TOOK ALL THE OLD ONES... She hid ALL OF 'EM in th' CLOSET, an' then she wanted ta WEAR HER RED SHIRT an' her ORANGE PANTS! Those colors look AWFUL together, but IT'S WHAT SHE WANTS, and whatever NADINE WANTS-------NADINE GETS...." Sgt Falconian stopped for breath, and then he continued,
"Dr NICHOLS wuz th' ONLY DOCTOR she LIKED---------besides DR LINN. Now that they're BOTH GONE, Nadine has a CHIP ON HER SHOULDER! They LEFT an' NOW SHE'S TAKIN' IT OUT ON ME..."
Kooky Clarence patted the little man's frail shoulder. Sgt Falconian continued. "Yesterday,she got MAD cuz th' phone wuz RINGIN', an' she started ta CHEW ON TH' CORD..." he blinked and brushed his arm against his face. Then, suddenly, he started to laugh, and his laughter sounded cross, and angry, as though he was making FUN of Kooky Clarence. Then he stopped.
"Nadine is WEIRD..." He said. "The OTHER day, she wuz makin' her little NOISES. She doesn't TALK yet, but she's GETTIN' there, an she WUZ TALKIN' t' somebody, only when I went ta look at who she wuz talkin' to, THERE WUZN'T ANYBODY THERE!!! Nadine is WEIRD, I TELL YA..."

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