NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. Gary was in a LOT OF TROUBLE. He had been speeding down 4th and TROY, when
suddenly a cop car squealed its TIRES, turned on its
SIRENS, and stopped him right at 4th and Utica. Gary
waited while the policeman strode over to his car. "GET OUT OF THE CAR!" he ordered brusquely. When Gary got out of the car, the policeman
looked him up and down. Gary couldn't SEE his EYES
because the man was wearing SILVER SHADES. "Your eyes are BLOODSHOT! Have you been
drinking?" Gary stared BACK at the INSOLENT TWIT. He said,
slowly, so that the TWIT could UNDERSTAND, "Officer, I
couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you
been eating DONUTS?" The cop GRABBED GARY THEN, and STUCK THE
CUFFS ON HIM. Then he THREW Gary into his car, and then
SPED DOWN TOWARDS THE JAILHOUSE. Then, because
there were STAIRS, the cop TRIPPED GARY, and he went
ROLLING DOWN THE STAIRS....Gary lay on the floor. He was
reminded of a STUPID JOKE that Tommy had told him only
HOURS before:
How many cops does it take to throw a man down the
stairs???
None. He fell...... Gary's BLOOD ALCOHOL was WAY ABOVE THE
LIMIT, and so when he'd been SENT BEFORE THE
JUDGE--------------AGAIN----------------the judge glared down at
GARY, and thundered "It is the SENTENCE of this COURT
that you be taken from here to a place of EXECUTION, and
there hanged by the neck until DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!!!!!!!." Gary FAINTED. The court bailiff looked up at the judge, and the
judge shrugged and responded "I've always WANTED to do
that..."
....Later, at GARY'S HEARING, IT WAS REVEALED
THAT his WIFE, LOTTIE, had run off with a policeman. Gary
had explained to the JUDGE that he was SPEEDING DOWN
4TH AND TROY, because HIS WIFE had run off with the
policeman, AND GARY HAD PANICKED AND STEPPED ON
THE GAS, BECAUSE HE FEARED that the OFFICER had
gotten FRIGHTENED OF LOTTIE, and he was TRYING TO
GIVE HER BACK TO GARY! "Lottie drove THREE OF HER EX-HUSBANDS TO
SUICIDE, and TWO OTHERS ARE MISSING!" Gary had
testified, at his HEARING, "I didn't WANT Lottie back, AND
BESIDES, I'm in LOVE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!" The judge had let GARY GO, and Gary went and
spent the night with his VOLUPTUOUS VELOCIRAPTOR,
MARGO, and the VERY NEXT DAY HE WAS GONE... Now, IN ADDITION TO WILLIE THE CHUPACABRA,
and the disgruntled customer at JOE'S DINER, there were
TWO MORE SUSPECTS in Gary's disappearance: his wife
LOTTIE, and the OFFICER SHE'D RUN OFF WITH. He was
about to go and INTERVIEW THEM, when Lobelia called him
on the PHONE. "I CAN'T STAND THE CRYING ANY LONGER!"
Lobelia spoke into the phone. "What's WRONG?" Sgt Falconian wanted to know.he could hear NADINE WAILING IN THE BACKGROUND. "I think NADINE IS SICK--------she's been CRYING
ALL AFTERNOON! I've tried EVERYTHING, but she still
CRIES...." Sgt Falconian sighed. Nadine had always been a
HIGH-MAINTENANCE BABY. From the FIRST DAY she'd come
to LIVE with the little man, Nadine had had NEEDS, and she
would CRY--------MOSTLY IN THE EVENING. The little man had
WAYS TO QUIET HER DOWN. Often he would stick her in a
SLING, which he wore on his shoulder, while he did the
VACUUMING. Sgt Falconian looked FUNNY when he did this,
and, when OTTO had SEEN HIM THIS WAY, HE LAUGHED
LIKE CRAZY, BUT SGT FALCONIAN DIDN'T MIND, when he
saw Nadine's contented features nestled against his
breast. Sgt Falconian hurried home. When he GOT THERE, he found the winged
creature, nestled up against LOBELIA'S MASSIVE CHEST.
She was hugging him and CLUTCHING AT HIM WITH HER
SMALL SCALY GREEN HANDS, and she was SOBBING WITH
HUGE, SHAKING HEAVES! Nadine looked up at Sgt
Falconian, and the little man saw FEAR in her eyes. Quickly,
he took the winged creature from Lobelia's arms. As he
caressed Nadine's scaly features, the little man spoke, "She's AFRAID of something....Something
MUST'VE SPOOKED her...." He hugged Nadine hard, pressing
her small head against his small chest. HE looked at
Lobelia, who had the SAME FRIGHTENED EXPRESSION. The
velociraptor took Sgt Falconian aside. "I think somebody's been in YOUR ROOM..." "What?" "When I went over to pick up some things for
Nadine, I saw your CLOSET DOOR OPEN!"
suddenly a cop car squealed its TIRES, turned on its
SIRENS, and stopped him right at 4th and Utica. Gary
waited while the policeman strode over to his car. "GET OUT OF THE CAR!" he ordered brusquely. When Gary got out of the car, the policeman
looked him up and down. Gary couldn't SEE his EYES
because the man was wearing SILVER SHADES. "Your eyes are BLOODSHOT! Have you been
drinking?" Gary stared BACK at the INSOLENT TWIT. He said,
slowly, so that the TWIT could UNDERSTAND, "Officer, I
couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you
been eating DONUTS?" The cop GRABBED GARY THEN, and STUCK THE
CUFFS ON HIM. Then he THREW Gary into his car, and then
SPED DOWN TOWARDS THE JAILHOUSE. Then, because
there were STAIRS, the cop TRIPPED GARY, and he went
ROLLING DOWN THE STAIRS....Gary lay on the floor. He was
reminded of a STUPID JOKE that Tommy had told him only
HOURS before:
How many cops does it take to throw a man down the
stairs???
None. He fell...... Gary's BLOOD ALCOHOL was WAY ABOVE THE
LIMIT, and so when he'd been SENT BEFORE THE
JUDGE--------------AGAIN----------------the judge glared down at
GARY, and thundered "It is the SENTENCE of this COURT
that you be taken from here to a place of EXECUTION, and
there hanged by the neck until DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!!!!!!!." Gary FAINTED. The court bailiff looked up at the judge, and the
judge shrugged and responded "I've always WANTED to do
that..."
....Later, at GARY'S HEARING, IT WAS REVEALED
THAT his WIFE, LOTTIE, had run off with a policeman. Gary
had explained to the JUDGE that he was SPEEDING DOWN
4TH AND TROY, because HIS WIFE had run off with the
policeman, AND GARY HAD PANICKED AND STEPPED ON
THE GAS, BECAUSE HE FEARED that the OFFICER had
gotten FRIGHTENED OF LOTTIE, and he was TRYING TO
GIVE HER BACK TO GARY! "Lottie drove THREE OF HER EX-HUSBANDS TO
SUICIDE, and TWO OTHERS ARE MISSING!" Gary had
testified, at his HEARING, "I didn't WANT Lottie back, AND
BESIDES, I'm in LOVE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!" The judge had let GARY GO, and Gary went and
spent the night with his VOLUPTUOUS VELOCIRAPTOR,
MARGO, and the VERY NEXT DAY HE WAS GONE... Now, IN ADDITION TO WILLIE THE CHUPACABRA,
and the disgruntled customer at JOE'S DINER, there were
TWO MORE SUSPECTS in Gary's disappearance: his wife
LOTTIE, and the OFFICER SHE'D RUN OFF WITH. He was
about to go and INTERVIEW THEM, when Lobelia called him
on the PHONE. "I CAN'T STAND THE CRYING ANY LONGER!"
Lobelia spoke into the phone. "What's WRONG?" Sgt Falconian wanted to know.he could hear NADINE WAILING IN THE BACKGROUND. "I think NADINE IS SICK--------she's been CRYING
ALL AFTERNOON! I've tried EVERYTHING, but she still
CRIES...." Sgt Falconian sighed. Nadine had always been a
HIGH-MAINTENANCE BABY. From the FIRST DAY she'd come
to LIVE with the little man, Nadine had had NEEDS, and she
would CRY--------MOSTLY IN THE EVENING. The little man had
WAYS TO QUIET HER DOWN. Often he would stick her in a
SLING, which he wore on his shoulder, while he did the
VACUUMING. Sgt Falconian looked FUNNY when he did this,
and, when OTTO had SEEN HIM THIS WAY, HE LAUGHED
LIKE CRAZY, BUT SGT FALCONIAN DIDN'T MIND, when he
saw Nadine's contented features nestled against his
breast. Sgt Falconian hurried home. When he GOT THERE, he found the winged
creature, nestled up against LOBELIA'S MASSIVE CHEST.
She was hugging him and CLUTCHING AT HIM WITH HER
SMALL SCALY GREEN HANDS, and she was SOBBING WITH
HUGE, SHAKING HEAVES! Nadine looked up at Sgt
Falconian, and the little man saw FEAR in her eyes. Quickly,
he took the winged creature from Lobelia's arms. As he
caressed Nadine's scaly features, the little man spoke, "She's AFRAID of something....Something
MUST'VE SPOOKED her...." He hugged Nadine hard, pressing
her small head against his small chest. HE looked at
Lobelia, who had the SAME FRIGHTENED EXPRESSION. The
velociraptor took Sgt Falconian aside. "I think somebody's been in YOUR ROOM..." "What?" "When I went over to pick up some things for
Nadine, I saw your CLOSET DOOR OPEN!"
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