While Sgt Falconian
was at the LIBRARY, doing RESEARCH on COLOR FIELDS,
Walt's football team had gotten into a BIG FIGHT with
ANOTHER TEAM during FOOTBALL PRACTICE. The fight had
made the EVENING NEWS, and the VERY NEXT MORNING, it
had MADE THE FRONT PAGE.
Reported taunting led to a fight between two football teams
Wednesday.
No one was arrested or charged in the 6 p.m. incident at the
HamonRye Football field.
according to Deputy Sam Snooper.
Athletic Director Keith Kandikane said assistant coach
Ryan Krogerskrackers was
given a yellow-card for abusive language to an official.
Kandikane said he received an e-mail from the Athletic
Association Thursday that said no other further action was
necessary in the
matter. The Red Dwarfs beat HamonRye 7-0.
"The two teams were taunting each other on the field and
that led to verbal
altercations, which led to players physically fighting each
other on the field,"
Snooper said.
Capt Russell Hoolihan said the matter is still being
investigated.
"There are some things that weren't substantiated. But with
a thing like that,
we're still doing some checking and trying to cover all our
bases," Hoolihan said.
Meanwhile, Sgt Falconian had replaced all the
BULBS in his ROOM with SODIUM BULBS. This new lighting
system had turned everything in the little man's room, a
ghastly yellow color, but it eliminated all of the BLUE COLOR
that was in the room. Things had settled down and the
scruffy little man and his winged pet were at last having a
NORMAL LIFE.
However, it speeded up whatever was happening
around Sgt Falconian's room. More and more people were
turning into INFANTS, and even MORE THINGS WERE
DISAPPEARING INTO THIN AIR. Sgt Falconian's immediate
neighbors-----Mr Left, in room 30, and Ms Right, in room 31,
were experiencing an alarming rise in MISSING SOCKS!
Already, Sgt Falconian's two neighbors had
LOST-----between the TWO of them--------------over 37 PAIRS OF
SOCKS!
Unknown to THEM-----or to the REST OF BUILDING
C-----Sgt Falconian's NEW LIGHTS were SPEEDING UP A
wormhole that had started forming in Sgt Falconian's
trapezoid kitchen. When the wormhole had FORMED, SOCK
PEOPLE HAD CLIMBED THROUGH THE WORMHOLE, which
had started near SGT FALCONIAN'S KITCHEN SINK, and was
NOW FILLING UP MOST OF HIS KITCHEN.
For the MOST PART, the WORMHOLE was
INVISIBLE, save for some SPARKING which would rise up
from the SINK. This SPARKING would sometimes cause the
TOILET to FLUSH.
These SOCK PEOPLE would CLIMB THROUGH THE
WORMHOLE in SGT FALCONIAN'S ROOM. Using their small
TOOLS, they'd open up OTHER WORMHOLES to OTHER
ROOMS, and they'd use THESE WORMHOLES to STEAL
SOCKS! These people were perfectly content with hoarding
tons of used socks. In a SINGLE NIGHT, it wasn't unusual for
these individuals to net SEVERAL TONS OF SOCKS.
The Sock People would go from ROOM TO ROOM,
sifting through laundry hampers and drawers, looking for
DIRTY SOCKS, which they would then PUREE and SELL IN
VENDING MACHINES, as MOLDY SOCKS were CONSIDERED A
HEALTH FOOD, much like SOY MILK, and WHEAT BRAN
MUFFINS.
Early in the year, the SOCK PEOPLE had become
victims of a FLU EPIDEMIC, and their SCIENTISTS had found
that eating sweaty socks along with pureed calavasitas
could GREATLY DECREASE THEIR CHANCES OF CATCHING
the FLU. Dirty socks were a natural VACCINE AGAINST THIS
FLU, and the SOCK PEOPLE WERE GROWING DESPERATE!
Because the FLU was DEADLY, Sock People all
over the UNIVERSE had been GOING THROUGH THE
WORMHOLE, STEALING SOCKS FROM HAMPERS AND
LAUNDRYROOMS AT BUILDING C, and FRYING THEM,
ALONG WITH THEIR BACON AND EGGS, to EAT THEM FOR
BREAKFAST! Toe socks were an especial favorite, as they
tasted SWEETER than TUBE SOCKS.
Sock people also preferred SOCKS with MAUVE
STRIPES, and DIAGONAL PLEATING, as THESE socks
seemed to have HEALING QUALITIES, as did SOCKS WITH
MULTI-COLORED STRIPES on them. Because MORE AND
MORE SOCK PEOPLE were falling ill with the FLU, the
DEMAND FOR FRESH SOCKS became so great that NOW
THEY WERE BRANCHING OUT into OTHER PARTS OF
BUILDING C, going through rooms which had rarely been
used, or that had been VACATED LONG AGO.
Such were the affairs, ONE MORNING, when Sgt
Falconian had taken his bath, and was looking forward to
watching the football game, wearing his favorite orange and
blue tube socks-----the COLOR OF HIS FAVORITE TEAM, the
DENVER BRONCOS. As he dressed, he searched in vain for
his favorite socks, and found, to his dismay, that they were
GONE....
was at the LIBRARY, doing RESEARCH on COLOR FIELDS,
Walt's football team had gotten into a BIG FIGHT with
ANOTHER TEAM during FOOTBALL PRACTICE. The fight had
made the EVENING NEWS, and the VERY NEXT MORNING, it
had MADE THE FRONT PAGE.
Reported taunting led to a fight between two football teams
Wednesday.
No one was arrested or charged in the 6 p.m. incident at the
HamonRye Football field.
according to Deputy Sam Snooper.
Athletic Director Keith Kandikane said assistant coach
Ryan Krogerskrackers was
given a yellow-card for abusive language to an official.
Kandikane said he received an e-mail from the Athletic
Association Thursday that said no other further action was
necessary in the
matter. The Red Dwarfs beat HamonRye 7-0.
"The two teams were taunting each other on the field and
that led to verbal
altercations, which led to players physically fighting each
other on the field,"
Snooper said.
Capt Russell Hoolihan said the matter is still being
investigated.
"There are some things that weren't substantiated. But with
a thing like that,
we're still doing some checking and trying to cover all our
bases," Hoolihan said.
Meanwhile, Sgt Falconian had replaced all the
BULBS in his ROOM with SODIUM BULBS. This new lighting
system had turned everything in the little man's room, a
ghastly yellow color, but it eliminated all of the BLUE COLOR
that was in the room. Things had settled down and the
scruffy little man and his winged pet were at last having a
NORMAL LIFE.
However, it speeded up whatever was happening
around Sgt Falconian's room. More and more people were
turning into INFANTS, and even MORE THINGS WERE
DISAPPEARING INTO THIN AIR. Sgt Falconian's immediate
neighbors-----Mr Left, in room 30, and Ms Right, in room 31,
were experiencing an alarming rise in MISSING SOCKS!
Already, Sgt Falconian's two neighbors had
LOST-----between the TWO of them--------------over 37 PAIRS OF
SOCKS!
Unknown to THEM-----or to the REST OF BUILDING
C-----Sgt Falconian's NEW LIGHTS were SPEEDING UP A
wormhole that had started forming in Sgt Falconian's
trapezoid kitchen. When the wormhole had FORMED, SOCK
PEOPLE HAD CLIMBED THROUGH THE WORMHOLE, which
had started near SGT FALCONIAN'S KITCHEN SINK, and was
NOW FILLING UP MOST OF HIS KITCHEN.
For the MOST PART, the WORMHOLE was
INVISIBLE, save for some SPARKING which would rise up
from the SINK. This SPARKING would sometimes cause the
TOILET to FLUSH.
These SOCK PEOPLE would CLIMB THROUGH THE
WORMHOLE in SGT FALCONIAN'S ROOM. Using their small
TOOLS, they'd open up OTHER WORMHOLES to OTHER
ROOMS, and they'd use THESE WORMHOLES to STEAL
SOCKS! These people were perfectly content with hoarding
tons of used socks. In a SINGLE NIGHT, it wasn't unusual for
these individuals to net SEVERAL TONS OF SOCKS.
The Sock People would go from ROOM TO ROOM,
sifting through laundry hampers and drawers, looking for
DIRTY SOCKS, which they would then PUREE and SELL IN
VENDING MACHINES, as MOLDY SOCKS were CONSIDERED A
HEALTH FOOD, much like SOY MILK, and WHEAT BRAN
MUFFINS.
Early in the year, the SOCK PEOPLE had become
victims of a FLU EPIDEMIC, and their SCIENTISTS had found
that eating sweaty socks along with pureed calavasitas
could GREATLY DECREASE THEIR CHANCES OF CATCHING
the FLU. Dirty socks were a natural VACCINE AGAINST THIS
FLU, and the SOCK PEOPLE WERE GROWING DESPERATE!
Because the FLU was DEADLY, Sock People all
over the UNIVERSE had been GOING THROUGH THE
WORMHOLE, STEALING SOCKS FROM HAMPERS AND
LAUNDRYROOMS AT BUILDING C, and FRYING THEM,
ALONG WITH THEIR BACON AND EGGS, to EAT THEM FOR
BREAKFAST! Toe socks were an especial favorite, as they
tasted SWEETER than TUBE SOCKS.
Sock people also preferred SOCKS with MAUVE
STRIPES, and DIAGONAL PLEATING, as THESE socks
seemed to have HEALING QUALITIES, as did SOCKS WITH
MULTI-COLORED STRIPES on them. Because MORE AND
MORE SOCK PEOPLE were falling ill with the FLU, the
DEMAND FOR FRESH SOCKS became so great that NOW
THEY WERE BRANCHING OUT into OTHER PARTS OF
BUILDING C, going through rooms which had rarely been
used, or that had been VACATED LONG AGO.
Such were the affairs, ONE MORNING, when Sgt
Falconian had taken his bath, and was looking forward to
watching the football game, wearing his favorite orange and
blue tube socks-----the COLOR OF HIS FAVORITE TEAM, the
DENVER BRONCOS. As he dressed, he searched in vain for
his favorite socks, and found, to his dismay, that they were
GONE....
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