A story about an alien being who discovers her husband has turned into a baby.
Crazy Lois ran out into the
hallway, where the screams came from. She saw her
younger son, Malloy, standing over a pile of rags. Malloy
was silently crying, and bending over the pile. "Daddy..." he sobbed. "What the HELL IS GOING ON?" Crazy Lois
demanded in a shrill voice. Malloy was shaking and crying silently, he was
biting his lower lip and tears were streaming down his face.
He kept pointing to the pile of clothes, and a baby, which
was setting on top of them. The infant-----probably a NEWBORN--------was
screaming lustily, clawing at the air with his tiny fists. The
baby looked HUMAN. "Oh that's just GREAT! Did you STEAL SOMEONE'S
KID?" Crazy Lois yelled, angrily. "No! I----" Malloy stuttered. "See, this is the SORT OF THING THAT MAKES ME
WANT TO EAT YOU!!!!!" Crazy Lois screamed, shrilly, as she
collared her son. "Mom, I didn't DO anything----" "You take this KID BACK WHERE YOU GOT HIM
FROM!!!!" "Mom! I CAN'T-----" "Where's REED----Where's your FATHER?" "Mom...Will you PLEASE LISTEN?" "Joe! JOE!" Crazy Lois screamed, shrilly, for her
husband. "Damn it..." she muttered, picking up the infant.
"What the HELL did you kids do, NOW? You KIDNAPPED A
BABY, and I'm NOT GOING TO PRISON FOR YOU!!!!" The baby was screaming, and its bottom felt WET.
Crazy Lois muttered a swear word, and then took the baby
inside. She sent Malloy out to the GROCERY STORE, for
some DIAPERS and FORMULA, and then she started to
bathe the baby. As she drew a bath, she noticed the small
DOVE which the baby had on its forearm. JOE had a TATTOO JUST LIKE THAT!!! Looking closer at the baby's face, she saw a small
scar on its left eyebrow-------like the one JOE had, when HE'D
BEEN INVOLVED IN A CAR ACCIDENT on a cold RAINY
NIGHT. As she scrubbed the human baby, she muttered
about how TOUGH LIFE WAS FOR HER, that it had been a
MISTAKE to marry a human, and even though he wasn't
FULLY HUMAN, he still had the BAD TRAITS OF THAT AWFUL
RACE. Her sons were JUST as bad. They took after their FATHER in EVERY WAY. They
were SLOPPY, THEYate JUNK FOOD and left their CLOTHES
OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR. They YELLED all the
time and THREW THINGS AT EACH OTHER! They were RUDE,
like ALL HUMANS! "One of these DAYS----"Crazy Lois hissed into the
baby's face, "I'm GONNA EAT THEM ALL!" The baby laughed into her face, and its laughing reminded her of Joe, who was always LAUGHING at his
reptilian wife. He had done that THIS MORNING, when Crazy
Lois had discovered Malloy and Reed spraying whipped
cream all over Logan, her youngest son. She had collared all three of her sons, breathing
fire and threatening to EAT THEM RIGHT THEN AND THERE!
Joe had appeared at the doorway, taking his sons out to
the car----they were going to SCHOOL--------while Lois wiped
the whipped cream off of Logan's face. When Joe had come back from taking the boys to
school, Crazy Lois was still breathing fire, and threatening
to eat her kids, but Joe just LAUGHED. They were JUST
KIDS, he said. Boy's being boys. Crazy Lois snorted. One of these days.... Malloy returned with the diapers. Crazy Lois
quickly dried the infant off and powdered the infant's
bottom. Then, after putting a diaper on it, Lois warmed up
the formula and put it inside a baby bottle. The baby was
grabbing at the small blanket Crazy Lois had wrapped it in.
The baby cooed up at her, playing with her fingers. Malloy
was grabbing at his mother's shirt sleeve, trying to TELL her
something about HIS DADDY. The half-reptilian boy was
quietly sobbing. Crazy Lois looked down at the baby's face,
startled to see her husband's confused expression----Joe
always looked GOOFY, as if he was perpetually confused.
For an instant, she thought that her husband had been
fooling around with ANOTHER WOMAN, and that the woman
had abandoned her infant at Joe's doorstep. This made her
growl low in her throat. She leered at the baby, and grabbed
its tiny throat with her large scaly hand. But Malloy screamed and grabbed her arm. "PLEASE DON'T HURT DADDY!" he screamed.
hallway, where the screams came from. She saw her
younger son, Malloy, standing over a pile of rags. Malloy
was silently crying, and bending over the pile. "Daddy..." he sobbed. "What the HELL IS GOING ON?" Crazy Lois
demanded in a shrill voice. Malloy was shaking and crying silently, he was
biting his lower lip and tears were streaming down his face.
He kept pointing to the pile of clothes, and a baby, which
was setting on top of them. The infant-----probably a NEWBORN--------was
screaming lustily, clawing at the air with his tiny fists. The
baby looked HUMAN. "Oh that's just GREAT! Did you STEAL SOMEONE'S
KID?" Crazy Lois yelled, angrily. "No! I----" Malloy stuttered. "See, this is the SORT OF THING THAT MAKES ME
WANT TO EAT YOU!!!!!" Crazy Lois screamed, shrilly, as she
collared her son. "Mom, I didn't DO anything----" "You take this KID BACK WHERE YOU GOT HIM
FROM!!!!" "Mom! I CAN'T-----" "Where's REED----Where's your FATHER?" "Mom...Will you PLEASE LISTEN?" "Joe! JOE!" Crazy Lois screamed, shrilly, for her
husband. "Damn it..." she muttered, picking up the infant.
"What the HELL did you kids do, NOW? You KIDNAPPED A
BABY, and I'm NOT GOING TO PRISON FOR YOU!!!!" The baby was screaming, and its bottom felt WET.
Crazy Lois muttered a swear word, and then took the baby
inside. She sent Malloy out to the GROCERY STORE, for
some DIAPERS and FORMULA, and then she started to
bathe the baby. As she drew a bath, she noticed the small
DOVE which the baby had on its forearm. JOE had a TATTOO JUST LIKE THAT!!! Looking closer at the baby's face, she saw a small
scar on its left eyebrow-------like the one JOE had, when HE'D
BEEN INVOLVED IN A CAR ACCIDENT on a cold RAINY
NIGHT. As she scrubbed the human baby, she muttered
about how TOUGH LIFE WAS FOR HER, that it had been a
MISTAKE to marry a human, and even though he wasn't
FULLY HUMAN, he still had the BAD TRAITS OF THAT AWFUL
RACE. Her sons were JUST as bad. They took after their FATHER in EVERY WAY. They
were SLOPPY, THEYate JUNK FOOD and left their CLOTHES
OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR. They YELLED all the
time and THREW THINGS AT EACH OTHER! They were RUDE,
like ALL HUMANS! "One of these DAYS----"Crazy Lois hissed into the
baby's face, "I'm GONNA EAT THEM ALL!" The baby laughed into her face, and its laughing reminded her of Joe, who was always LAUGHING at his
reptilian wife. He had done that THIS MORNING, when Crazy
Lois had discovered Malloy and Reed spraying whipped
cream all over Logan, her youngest son. She had collared all three of her sons, breathing
fire and threatening to EAT THEM RIGHT THEN AND THERE!
Joe had appeared at the doorway, taking his sons out to
the car----they were going to SCHOOL--------while Lois wiped
the whipped cream off of Logan's face. When Joe had come back from taking the boys to
school, Crazy Lois was still breathing fire, and threatening
to eat her kids, but Joe just LAUGHED. They were JUST
KIDS, he said. Boy's being boys. Crazy Lois snorted. One of these days.... Malloy returned with the diapers. Crazy Lois
quickly dried the infant off and powdered the infant's
bottom. Then, after putting a diaper on it, Lois warmed up
the formula and put it inside a baby bottle. The baby was
grabbing at the small blanket Crazy Lois had wrapped it in.
The baby cooed up at her, playing with her fingers. Malloy
was grabbing at his mother's shirt sleeve, trying to TELL her
something about HIS DADDY. The half-reptilian boy was
quietly sobbing. Crazy Lois looked down at the baby's face,
startled to see her husband's confused expression----Joe
always looked GOOFY, as if he was perpetually confused.
For an instant, she thought that her husband had been
fooling around with ANOTHER WOMAN, and that the woman
had abandoned her infant at Joe's doorstep. This made her
growl low in her throat. She leered at the baby, and grabbed
its tiny throat with her large scaly hand. But Malloy screamed and grabbed her arm. "PLEASE DON'T HURT DADDY!" he screamed.
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