WIND JOKES

Farmer Brown: "Did you lose much in that last tornado?" Farmer Jones: "Lost the henhouse and all the chickens. But
that's OK 'cause I ended up with three new cows and a
pick-up truck."
and...
Two farmers were boasting about the strongest wind they’d
ever experienced. “Out here in California,” said one, “I’ve
seen the fiercest wind in my life. You know those giant
redwood trees? Well the wind got so strong it bent them
right over.”
“That’s nothing,” said the farmer from Iowa. “Back on my
farm we had a wind one day that blew a hundred miles per
hour. It was so bad that one of my hens had her back turned
to the wind and she laid the same egg six times.”
Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding
water. A blizzard is when it snows sideways.
Don't knock the weather; nine out of ten people couldn't
start a conversation if it didn't change once in awhile!
If you see a heat wave, should you wave back?
The wind is like the air, only pushier.
You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close
you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so
never mind.
And now, for your extended forecast: "Foooorrrcaaaasssstt"
What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing Taxis!
Climate is what you expect. Weather is what you get!
These, apparently, are actual answers given to test
questions.
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water
tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the
moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun
joins in this fight."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on
them and makes them perspire."
"I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know
how to do it, and that is the important thing."
"Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how
to change back into a sun in the daytime."
"While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance
from the sun, it is really only centrificating."
"In making rain water, it takes everything from H to O."
"Rain is saved up in cloud banks."
"Thunder is a rich source of loudness."
"Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their
names sound."
"We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation.
Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to
put the top on."
"Clouds are highflying fogs."
Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And
around. There is not much else to do.
Water vapour gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough
to be called a drop, it does.