Sgt Falconian had gone to the RADIO SHACK around 10 that
morning. He HAD to GO, because the COUPONS EXPIRED IN
ABOUT 4 DAYS-----AUG 4TH----and if he WENT ANY LATER,
he'd have had to PAY THE FULL PRICE for the TWO
CONVERTERS. The weather was VERY NICE, AND
WARM-----nothing at ALL like it was, TWO DAYS AGO, when
the HAILSTORM HAD STRUCK! Sgt Falconian came home
around 12, ate lunch, and waited for the ROOFERS to come. The roofers were coming at 2 that afternoon, to fix
the roof at BUILDING C. It had been DAMAGED----indeed, the
SHINGLES HAD BEEN SHREDDED by the GOLF-BALL-SIZED
hail. Even though he was BETTER from his COLD, the
little man WAS HAVING TROUBLE SEEING THE PRINT on the
letter he'd been writing to his UNCLE DEWEY. Uncle Dewey
had been transferred to the PRISON INFIRMARY, when HE'D
CAUGHT A TERRIBLE CHEST COLD from the DRAFTS that
were in his cell. Sgt Falconian had been working on his case,
and he was now close to finding clues, which pointed that
his UNCLE HAD BEEN FRAMED. The day after the storm, he had barely been able
to FUNCTION----not because he was UPSET about the ROOF,
BUT ON ACCOUNT OF THE SUDDEN TEMPERATURE CHANGE,
and the WAY his CHEST GOT ALL CONGESTED, and the WAY
his JOINTS, ESPECIALLY HIS HIP, was HURTING. He really
couldn't THINK all that good, and so when he had typed his
uncle's LETTER, he had used the PURPLE PERFUMED
STATIONARY that LOLA ON THE THIRD FLOOR had always
used, and which had BIG RED juicy LIPS SPLATTERED ON
THE TOP OF THE PAGE! To make matters WORSE, he'd forgotten the
STAMP, and when he approached the MAILMAN at the
FRONT DESK AT THE POST OFFICE, he'd paid for his STAMPS
by pulling out a wad of bills, which had been WRAPPED
IN LOLA'S BLACK LACY TEDDY! He blushed with
embarrassment, AND THE POSTMAN WINKED AT HIM,
SMILING WICKEDLY. The little man had THOUGHT about
EXPLAINING to the POSTMAN that LOLA HAD HAD A THING
for him, ever since he'd helped her bring in her GROCERIES,
and that she went OUT OF HER WAY to show him HOW
GRATEFUL SHE WAS. But then he decided AGAINST IT. He
paid for his purchases, mailed his letter, and left the post
office without another word. His chest was better, but it was STILL
CONGESTED. He hadhad to put VICKS ON IT, LAST NIGHT, on
account of it being so HEAVY. Today, he was STILL
COUGHING, but NOT AS MUCH. Earlier that day, he had FINISHED HOOKING UP his
new CONVERTER BOX TO his VCR AND his TV. He could NOT
BELIEVE HOW GOOD THE picture WAS, ON his TV! Even
CHANNEL 21 came IN REALLY SHARP! It TOOK him ALL OF
TWO HOURS TO HOOK EVERYTHING UP. The CONVERTER
BOX was like the COMPUTERS, in that IT SET UP
EVERYTHING BY ITSELF!!! It didn't NEED HIM....All he DID
WAS PUNCH 'NEXT', and then WAIT FOR IT TO FINISH! At FIRST, WHEN he'd HOOKED EVERYTHING UP,
nothing WORKED. He thought that he had THROWN his
MONEY OUT THE WINDOW! Then the SETUP WIZARD CAME
ON, and all he did was PUNCH 'NEXT' on the UNIVERSAL
REMOTE CONTROL. It was AMAZING! He had already TAPED
THE KING OF QUEENS, and he was SO EXCITED THAT HE
HAD GOTTEN HIS CHANNELS BACK AGAIN! He had FINISHED HOOKING EVERYTHING UP. Then
he had grabbed Nadine, and took her out to JOE'S DINER for
a celebratory LUNCH. Then he'd bidden everyone A GOOD
NIGHT, and a GOOD DAY TOMORROW. He winked at JOE THE
COOK, who had thought that the little hobo man had
FINALLY LOST HIS MARBLES, and the little man had said to
JOE, "Excuse me WHILE I KISS THE SKY!" The little man paid his bill, took Nadine in his arms,
and left the diner. Joe turned to his wife, who laughed. The cook
wiped the counter with a trembling hand, and then he spoke
shakily, "I THOUGHT he was gonna KISS ME....I REALLY
DID...."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"
Hey, WHO TOOK BEATRICE?" The question came from 10 year old Josie, who
wanted to know where 'BEATRICE' was. BEATRICE was the
mannequin who had been placed in the dayroom next to the
coffee pot. Josie had named the mannequin 'BEATRICE',
after her Aunt Beatrice, and she had greeted her plastic
friend, every day, when she came home from school. Josie went to Sgt Falconian, who was seated at a
table, feeding Nadine some chicken and rice. She asked him
about the mannequin. He said, "Well, Beatrice sorta had an
ACCIDENT!" "Oh, NO...." Josie's deep voice showed a trace of
sadness. The little girl was not sad for HERSELF, though she
had had cause to be. The little girl had asthma, as a result of
being born prematurely. She tired easily, and was on
medication, but even so, she managed to cram a LOT of
activities into each day. "Will I ever SEE HER AGAIN?" she
wanted to know. Sgt Falconian shrugged. "She's as th' HOSPITAL,
gettin' her HEAD fixed..." he muttered. "Someone went and
accident'lly knocked her OVER, an' her HEAD fell off..." Nadine looked down at her shoes. She felt BAD
about what she had done. Lobelia had SCOLDED HER
SOUNDLY and had even THREATENED TO SPANK her, though
he never did. He had rushed her back to his room, gave her a
bath, and then read her a STORY before she'd gone to sleep.
Now Josie stood at Sgt Falconian's elbow.
"Whatcha been UP to?" she wanted to know. "I haven't
hardly ever SEEN you around..." The little man sipped his coffee. "Well, I got me a
NEW CONVERTER BOX!" he muttered. Josie's hazel eyes
went wide with curiousity, and the little man explained. "It's
for MY TV. See, my TV was BROKEN, TOO, and ALL THE
CHANNELS WENT AWAY. I needed a BOX TO MAKE THE
CHANNELS COME BACK!" "Can you get ME a BOX?" Josie asked. "But I thought you HAD one..." "I want a box for BEATRICE!" Josie said, biting her
bottom lip. She brushed a strand of brown hair from her
small oval face. She spoke in a solemn, serious voice,
"Beatrice went away, TOO, and I want her to COME BACK..." Later, the little man had related his conversation
with Josie, to Lobelia. The big velociraptor shrugged, and
said, "You KNOW, I THINK someone was sneaking around
the HALLWAYS, LAST NIGHT...." he told Sgt Falconian about
his experience in the hallway, the night before, and then he
said, "Whoever was HERE, might've took that MANNEQUIN..."
....He gazed at his captive, who was shivering in a
corner. Finally, he'd GOTTEN THE DIRTY FILTHY CREATURE
who had killed his ROBIN...The creature was looking up at
him, with its wide, bulbous eyes. It was an UGLY CREATURE.
It had a PINK, NEARLY HAIRLESS FACE, and it was
BALD-HEADED! Why Sgt Falconian would CARE for such a
HIDEOUS CREATURE, was beyond HIM! Seen in profile, and CLOSE-UP, it was even MORE
HIDEOUS. It had a greenish-olive body, dotted here and
there with bluish silken skin. It sounded as though it was
SOBBING. It made a funny sound, which ended in a high,
separate note. "Ch-ch chi chi-chi-chi-chi....", it SOBBED, and
bent its head down. He bent closer to the creature, and touched its
bald head. It wasn't HARD GRABBING IT AND STICKING IT
INSIDE A BURLAP BAG. The creature kicked and thrashed
and FOUGHT HIM, but HE was STRONGER! It was wandering
around outside Sgt Falconian's room, waiting for the little
man to let it in. But the little man was TOO LATE, because
HE WAS THERE, WAITING FOR IT...The creature shrank away
from his touch, and squashed itself into a corner. Soon the
little man would be looking for it, and when he DID.... Well, suffice it to say, HE would be WAITING for
him....
morning. He HAD to GO, because the COUPONS EXPIRED IN
ABOUT 4 DAYS-----AUG 4TH----and if he WENT ANY LATER,
he'd have had to PAY THE FULL PRICE for the TWO
CONVERTERS. The weather was VERY NICE, AND
WARM-----nothing at ALL like it was, TWO DAYS AGO, when
the HAILSTORM HAD STRUCK! Sgt Falconian came home
around 12, ate lunch, and waited for the ROOFERS to come. The roofers were coming at 2 that afternoon, to fix
the roof at BUILDING C. It had been DAMAGED----indeed, the
SHINGLES HAD BEEN SHREDDED by the GOLF-BALL-SIZED
hail. Even though he was BETTER from his COLD, the
little man WAS HAVING TROUBLE SEEING THE PRINT on the
letter he'd been writing to his UNCLE DEWEY. Uncle Dewey
had been transferred to the PRISON INFIRMARY, when HE'D
CAUGHT A TERRIBLE CHEST COLD from the DRAFTS that
were in his cell. Sgt Falconian had been working on his case,
and he was now close to finding clues, which pointed that
his UNCLE HAD BEEN FRAMED. The day after the storm, he had barely been able
to FUNCTION----not because he was UPSET about the ROOF,
BUT ON ACCOUNT OF THE SUDDEN TEMPERATURE CHANGE,
and the WAY his CHEST GOT ALL CONGESTED, and the WAY
his JOINTS, ESPECIALLY HIS HIP, was HURTING. He really
couldn't THINK all that good, and so when he had typed his
uncle's LETTER, he had used the PURPLE PERFUMED
STATIONARY that LOLA ON THE THIRD FLOOR had always
used, and which had BIG RED juicy LIPS SPLATTERED ON
THE TOP OF THE PAGE! To make matters WORSE, he'd forgotten the
STAMP, and when he approached the MAILMAN at the
FRONT DESK AT THE POST OFFICE, he'd paid for his STAMPS
by pulling out a wad of bills, which had been WRAPPED
IN LOLA'S BLACK LACY TEDDY! He blushed with
embarrassment, AND THE POSTMAN WINKED AT HIM,
SMILING WICKEDLY. The little man had THOUGHT about
EXPLAINING to the POSTMAN that LOLA HAD HAD A THING
for him, ever since he'd helped her bring in her GROCERIES,
and that she went OUT OF HER WAY to show him HOW
GRATEFUL SHE WAS. But then he decided AGAINST IT. He
paid for his purchases, mailed his letter, and left the post
office without another word. His chest was better, but it was STILL
CONGESTED. He hadhad to put VICKS ON IT, LAST NIGHT, on
account of it being so HEAVY. Today, he was STILL
COUGHING, but NOT AS MUCH. Earlier that day, he had FINISHED HOOKING UP his
new CONVERTER BOX TO his VCR AND his TV. He could NOT
BELIEVE HOW GOOD THE picture WAS, ON his TV! Even
CHANNEL 21 came IN REALLY SHARP! It TOOK him ALL OF
TWO HOURS TO HOOK EVERYTHING UP. The CONVERTER
BOX was like the COMPUTERS, in that IT SET UP
EVERYTHING BY ITSELF!!! It didn't NEED HIM....All he DID
WAS PUNCH 'NEXT', and then WAIT FOR IT TO FINISH! At FIRST, WHEN he'd HOOKED EVERYTHING UP,
nothing WORKED. He thought that he had THROWN his
MONEY OUT THE WINDOW! Then the SETUP WIZARD CAME
ON, and all he did was PUNCH 'NEXT' on the UNIVERSAL
REMOTE CONTROL. It was AMAZING! He had already TAPED
THE KING OF QUEENS, and he was SO EXCITED THAT HE
HAD GOTTEN HIS CHANNELS BACK AGAIN! He had FINISHED HOOKING EVERYTHING UP. Then
he had grabbed Nadine, and took her out to JOE'S DINER for
a celebratory LUNCH. Then he'd bidden everyone A GOOD
NIGHT, and a GOOD DAY TOMORROW. He winked at JOE THE
COOK, who had thought that the little hobo man had
FINALLY LOST HIS MARBLES, and the little man had said to
JOE, "Excuse me WHILE I KISS THE SKY!" The little man paid his bill, took Nadine in his arms,
and left the diner. Joe turned to his wife, who laughed. The cook
wiped the counter with a trembling hand, and then he spoke
shakily, "I THOUGHT he was gonna KISS ME....I REALLY
DID...."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"
Hey, WHO TOOK BEATRICE?" The question came from 10 year old Josie, who
wanted to know where 'BEATRICE' was. BEATRICE was the
mannequin who had been placed in the dayroom next to the
coffee pot. Josie had named the mannequin 'BEATRICE',
after her Aunt Beatrice, and she had greeted her plastic
friend, every day, when she came home from school. Josie went to Sgt Falconian, who was seated at a
table, feeding Nadine some chicken and rice. She asked him
about the mannequin. He said, "Well, Beatrice sorta had an
ACCIDENT!" "Oh, NO...." Josie's deep voice showed a trace of
sadness. The little girl was not sad for HERSELF, though she
had had cause to be. The little girl had asthma, as a result of
being born prematurely. She tired easily, and was on
medication, but even so, she managed to cram a LOT of
activities into each day. "Will I ever SEE HER AGAIN?" she
wanted to know. Sgt Falconian shrugged. "She's as th' HOSPITAL,
gettin' her HEAD fixed..." he muttered. "Someone went and
accident'lly knocked her OVER, an' her HEAD fell off..." Nadine looked down at her shoes. She felt BAD
about what she had done. Lobelia had SCOLDED HER
SOUNDLY and had even THREATENED TO SPANK her, though
he never did. He had rushed her back to his room, gave her a
bath, and then read her a STORY before she'd gone to sleep.
Now Josie stood at Sgt Falconian's elbow.
"Whatcha been UP to?" she wanted to know. "I haven't
hardly ever SEEN you around..." The little man sipped his coffee. "Well, I got me a
NEW CONVERTER BOX!" he muttered. Josie's hazel eyes
went wide with curiousity, and the little man explained. "It's
for MY TV. See, my TV was BROKEN, TOO, and ALL THE
CHANNELS WENT AWAY. I needed a BOX TO MAKE THE
CHANNELS COME BACK!" "Can you get ME a BOX?" Josie asked. "But I thought you HAD one..." "I want a box for BEATRICE!" Josie said, biting her
bottom lip. She brushed a strand of brown hair from her
small oval face. She spoke in a solemn, serious voice,
"Beatrice went away, TOO, and I want her to COME BACK..." Later, the little man had related his conversation
with Josie, to Lobelia. The big velociraptor shrugged, and
said, "You KNOW, I THINK someone was sneaking around
the HALLWAYS, LAST NIGHT...." he told Sgt Falconian about
his experience in the hallway, the night before, and then he
said, "Whoever was HERE, might've took that MANNEQUIN..."
....He gazed at his captive, who was shivering in a
corner. Finally, he'd GOTTEN THE DIRTY FILTHY CREATURE
who had killed his ROBIN...The creature was looking up at
him, with its wide, bulbous eyes. It was an UGLY CREATURE.
It had a PINK, NEARLY HAIRLESS FACE, and it was
BALD-HEADED! Why Sgt Falconian would CARE for such a
HIDEOUS CREATURE, was beyond HIM! Seen in profile, and CLOSE-UP, it was even MORE
HIDEOUS. It had a greenish-olive body, dotted here and
there with bluish silken skin. It sounded as though it was
SOBBING. It made a funny sound, which ended in a high,
separate note. "Ch-ch chi chi-chi-chi-chi....", it SOBBED, and
bent its head down. He bent closer to the creature, and touched its
bald head. It wasn't HARD GRABBING IT AND STICKING IT
INSIDE A BURLAP BAG. The creature kicked and thrashed
and FOUGHT HIM, but HE was STRONGER! It was wandering
around outside Sgt Falconian's room, waiting for the little
man to let it in. But the little man was TOO LATE, because
HE WAS THERE, WAITING FOR IT...The creature shrank away
from his touch, and squashed itself into a corner. Soon the
little man would be looking for it, and when he DID.... Well, suffice it to say, HE would be WAITING for
him....
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