THE RADIO SHACK-By Nadine Noriega

Sgt Falconian had gone to the RADIO SHACK around 10 that
morning. He HAD to GO, because the COUPONS EXPIRED IN
ABOUT 4 DAYS-----AUG 4TH----and if he WENT ANY LATER,
he'd have had to PAY THE FULL PRICE for the TWO
CONVERTERS. The weather was VERY NICE, AND
WARM-----nothing at ALL like it was, TWO DAYS AGO, when
the HAILSTORM HAD STRUCK! Sgt Falconian came home
around 12, ate lunch, and waited for the ROOFERS to come. The roofers were coming at 2 that afternoon, to fix
the roof at BUILDING C. It had been DAMAGED----indeed, the
SHINGLES HAD BEEN SHREDDED by the GOLF-BALL-SIZED
hail. Even though he was BETTER from his COLD, the
little man WAS HAVING TROUBLE SEEING THE PRINT on the
letter he'd been writing to his UNCLE DEWEY. Uncle Dewey
had been transferred to the PRISON INFIRMARY, when HE'D
CAUGHT A TERRIBLE CHEST COLD from the DRAFTS that
were in his cell. Sgt Falconian had been working on his case,
and he was now close to finding clues, which pointed that
his UNCLE HAD BEEN FRAMED. The day after the storm, he had barely been able
to FUNCTION----not because he was UPSET about the ROOF,
BUT ON ACCOUNT OF THE SUDDEN TEMPERATURE CHANGE,
and the WAY his CHEST GOT ALL CONGESTED, and the WAY
his JOINTS, ESPECIALLY HIS HIP, was HURTING. He really
couldn't THINK all that good, and so when he had typed his
uncle's LETTER, he had used the PURPLE PERFUMED
STATIONARY that LOLA ON THE THIRD FLOOR had always
used, and which had BIG RED juicy LIPS SPLATTERED ON
THE TOP OF THE PAGE! To make matters WORSE, he'd forgotten the
STAMP, and when he approached the MAILMAN at the
FRONT DESK AT THE POST OFFICE, he'd paid for his STAMPS
by pulling out a wad of bills, which had been WRAPPED
IN LOLA'S BLACK LACY TEDDY! He blushed with
embarrassment, AND THE POSTMAN WINKED AT HIM,
SMILING WICKEDLY. The little man had THOUGHT about
EXPLAINING to the POSTMAN that LOLA HAD HAD A THING
for him, ever since he'd helped her bring in her GROCERIES,
and that she went OUT OF HER WAY to show him HOW
GRATEFUL SHE WAS. But then he decided AGAINST IT. He
paid for his purchases, mailed his letter, and left the post
office without another word. His chest was better, but it was STILL
CONGESTED. He hadhad to put VICKS ON IT, LAST NIGHT, on
account of it being so HEAVY. Today, he was STILL
COUGHING, but NOT AS MUCH. Earlier that day, he had FINISHED HOOKING UP his
new CONVERTER BOX TO his VCR AND his TV. He could NOT
BELIEVE HOW GOOD THE picture WAS, ON his TV! Even
CHANNEL 21 came IN REALLY SHARP! It TOOK him ALL OF
TWO HOURS TO HOOK EVERYTHING UP. The CONVERTER
BOX was like the COMPUTERS, in that IT SET UP
EVERYTHING BY ITSELF!!! It didn't NEED HIM....All he DID
WAS PUNCH 'NEXT', and then WAIT FOR IT TO FINISH! At FIRST, WHEN he'd HOOKED EVERYTHING UP,
nothing WORKED. He thought that he had THROWN his
MONEY OUT THE WINDOW! Then the SETUP WIZARD CAME
ON, and all he did was PUNCH 'NEXT' on the UNIVERSAL
REMOTE CONTROL. It was AMAZING! He had already TAPED
THE KING OF QUEENS, and he was SO EXCITED THAT HE
HAD GOTTEN HIS CHANNELS BACK AGAIN! He had FINISHED HOOKING EVERYTHING UP. Then
he had grabbed Nadine, and took her out to JOE'S DINER for
a celebratory LUNCH. Then he'd bidden everyone A GOOD
NIGHT, and a GOOD DAY TOMORROW. He winked at JOE THE
COOK, who had thought that the little hobo man had
FINALLY LOST HIS MARBLES, and the little man had said to
JOE, "Excuse me WHILE I KISS THE SKY!" The little man paid his bill, took Nadine in his arms,
and left the diner. Joe turned to his wife, who laughed. The cook
wiped the counter with a trembling hand, and then he spoke
shakily, "I THOUGHT he was gonna KISS ME....I REALLY
DID...."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"
Hey, WHO TOOK BEATRICE?" The question came from 10 year old Josie, who
wanted to know where 'BEATRICE' was. BEATRICE was the
mannequin who had been placed in the dayroom next to the
coffee pot. Josie had named the mannequin 'BEATRICE',
after her Aunt Beatrice, and she had greeted her plastic
friend, every day, when she came home from school. Josie went to Sgt Falconian, who was seated at a
table, feeding Nadine some chicken and rice. She asked him
about the mannequin. He said, "Well, Beatrice sorta had an
ACCIDENT!" "Oh, NO...." Josie's deep voice showed a trace of
sadness. The little girl was not sad for HERSELF, though she
had had cause to be. The little girl had asthma, as a result of
being born prematurely. She tired easily, and was on
medication, but even so, she managed to cram a LOT of
activities into each day. "Will I ever SEE HER AGAIN?" she
wanted to know. Sgt Falconian shrugged. "She's as th' HOSPITAL,
gettin' her HEAD fixed..." he muttered. "Someone went and
accident'lly knocked her OVER, an' her HEAD fell off..." Nadine looked down at her shoes. She felt BAD
about what she had done. Lobelia had SCOLDED HER
SOUNDLY and had even THREATENED TO SPANK her, though
he never did. He had rushed her back to his room, gave her a
bath, and then read her a STORY before she'd gone to sleep.
Now Josie stood at Sgt Falconian's elbow.
"Whatcha been UP to?" she wanted to know. "I haven't
hardly ever SEEN you around..." The little man sipped his coffee. "Well, I got me a
NEW CONVERTER BOX!" he muttered. Josie's hazel eyes
went wide with curiousity, and the little man explained. "It's
for MY TV. See, my TV was BROKEN, TOO, and ALL THE
CHANNELS WENT AWAY. I needed a BOX TO MAKE THE
CHANNELS COME BACK!" "Can you get ME a BOX?" Josie asked. "But I thought you HAD one..." "I want a box for BEATRICE!" Josie said, biting her
bottom lip. She brushed a strand of brown hair from her
small oval face. She spoke in a solemn, serious voice,
"Beatrice went away, TOO, and I want her to COME BACK..." Later, the little man had related his conversation
with Josie, to Lobelia. The big velociraptor shrugged, and
said, "You KNOW, I THINK someone was sneaking around
the HALLWAYS, LAST NIGHT...." he told Sgt Falconian about
his experience in the hallway, the night before, and then he
said, "Whoever was HERE, might've took that MANNEQUIN..."
....He gazed at his captive, who was shivering in a
corner. Finally, he'd GOTTEN THE DIRTY FILTHY CREATURE
who had killed his ROBIN...The creature was looking up at
him, with its wide, bulbous eyes. It was an UGLY CREATURE.
It had a PINK, NEARLY HAIRLESS FACE, and it was
BALD-HEADED! Why Sgt Falconian would CARE for such a
HIDEOUS CREATURE, was beyond HIM! Seen in profile, and CLOSE-UP, it was even MORE
HIDEOUS. It had a greenish-olive body, dotted here and
there with bluish silken skin. It sounded as though it was
SOBBING. It made a funny sound, which ended in a high,
separate note. "Ch-ch chi chi-chi-chi-chi....", it SOBBED, and
bent its head down. He bent closer to the creature, and touched its
bald head. It wasn't HARD GRABBING IT AND STICKING IT
INSIDE A BURLAP BAG. The creature kicked and thrashed
and FOUGHT HIM, but HE was STRONGER! It was wandering
around outside Sgt Falconian's room, waiting for the little
man to let it in. But the little man was TOO LATE, because
HE WAS THERE, WAITING FOR IT...The creature shrank away
from his touch, and squashed itself into a corner. Soon the
little man would be looking for it, and when he DID.... Well, suffice it to say, HE would be WAITING for
him....

BALD HEADED BIRD FOUND IN INDOCHINA

Bald-Headed Bulbul Discovery News Video July 29, 2009 -- A
bald-headed songbird with a pink, nearly featherless face
and distinctive calls has just been found in a rugged region
of Laos, according to scientists from the Wildlife
Conservation Society and the University of Melbourne who
made the discovery.
Aside from its unique characteristics, the avian is
noteworthy because it is the only known bald songbird in
Asia.
The find additionally marks the first description in over 100
years of a new Asian species of bulbul, since the songbird
has been placed in that family of birds. This bulbul was
named Pycnonotus hualon, with "hualon" being the Lao
word for "bald-headed."
Hardly a shy and retiring bird, the bald-headed bulbul
foraged and noisily moved about the researchers during the
day, making them wonder how this eye-catching bird went
undiscovered for so long.
"Certainly one reason is that the bird appears to be truly
restricted to some very harsh and inaccessible terrain in
Indochina," Peter Clyne told Discovery News. Clyne is the
assistant director of the Wildlife Conservation Society's Asia
Program.
Funded by a local copper and gold mining company,
researchers Iain Woxvold, Will Duckworth and Rob Timmins
recently surveyed birds at Pha Lom, a limestone outcrop in
Laos. That's when the bald-headed beauty caught their eye.
"The bird had alighted directly overhead in a small, leafless
tree, where it remained for two to three minutes, feeding
casually on small fruits and cocking its head to gain a clear
view of the observer," the researchers report in the latest
issue of Forktail, the journal of the Oriental Bird Club.
Before long, the songbird was "joined by another, similar
bird. The duo flew off soon after."
More detailed analysis of the bird determined that, in
addition to its bald head and pink face, it is thrush-sized with
a greenish-olive body, light-colored breast and "bluish skin"
around the eye extending to the bill.
P. hualon appears to be primarily tree-dwelling, but the birds
were often spotted settling on the limestone substrate,
"such as on the edge of a precipice or on jagged crags in
steep terrain
It was hard to miss their songs, which the researchers
variously describe as "bubbling," "churring," "whistled," and
"excited-sounding."
Like an opera singer milking a final aria, the bird produces at
least one song that rises distinctly and ends "abruptly in a
higher, separate note." Yet another call was translated to
human-speak as "ch-ch chi chi-chi-chi-chi," with the
individual notes again rising in pitch.
Birds of a feather in this case do flock together, as the
researchers found little evidence of P. hualon joining other
species.
In terms of mating, little is known at this point, but it's
possible that the bald-headed bulbul is of the lovebird
persuasion. Observed duos appeared to remain bonded to
each other for lengthy periods, suggesting that couples may
maintain these close connections yearlong.
The limestone karsts of Laos and nearby forests are gaining
a reputation for unusual wildlife discoveries.
"Distinct animals thought to be restricted to the wet,
evergreen forests include the Annamite striped rabbit and
the Saola," Clyne said. The Saola, also called the Vu Quang
ox, is a forest-dwelling bovine and is thought to be one of
the world's most rare mammals.
In 2002, co-author Timmins described the then newly found
Laotian rock rat, the lone-surviving member of an otherwise
extinct genus, in the same region of Laos.
Of the new baldheaded avian find, Colin Poole, director of
WCS's Asia programs concluded, "It's always exciting to
discover a new species, but this one is especially unique
because it is the only bald songbird in Asia."
Poole added, "The discovery also underscores how much
there is still to learn from wild places around the world."

What it is...

THE CITILIFT AND WHAT IT IS:
The CITILIFT is a shared ride service for which appointments
are made at least 2 days in advance. Paratransit vehicles
may go into driveways or parking lots if such action can be
executed safely. Paratransit service is available to the
disabled and seniors.When scheduling, be prepared to
schedule a return time as well as a pickup time. Next-day
service reservations must be made by 5:00PM the previous
day; same-day service is usually not provided, but it COULD
be provided only if space and time are available. the longer
you wait to schedule your ride, the less likely they will be
able to meet your time constraints or we may not have room
for you!!
SCHEDULING RIDES:If you want to reserve a ride for a specific appointment time,
be sure to:Allow enough time to get from the bus to your destination.Be aware of opening and closing times at your destination
so you do not have to wait outside the building; your arrival
may be as early as thirty (30) minutes before your
appointment. Allow plenty of time to finish your appointment
so you will be ready for the bus when it arrives.
TRIP RESERVATIONS:Trip reservations are made with a "30-minute pickup
window." For example, for a pickup time of 8:00AM the bus
could actually arrive fifteen (15) minutes before 8:00AM or
up to fifteen (15) minutes after 8:00AM. Often, you will have
to share rides with other passengers, who are going to and
from the same general area you are.
THE MECHANICS:The mechanics are trained professionals who deal with the
creation, structuring, and maintenance of mechanical
equipment. The range of devices that a mechanic may work
with include automobiles, trucks, production machinery, and
a wide scope of mechanical systems that help to create
many of the goods and services that are enjoyed by
consumers. The fleet of vans are serviced in their own
special garage, located near the RIVER WALK. Their OFFICE
is at the DEPT OF TRANSPORTATION, also located near the
RIVER WALK, but in ANOTHER BUILDING.
THE DISPATCHERS:The dispatchers work in an office at the back of a large
building. The dispatchers use their computers, a telephone
system and their paging and radio system by which the
dispatcher communicates with the drivers when they pick
up their clients. The dispatchers usually do all of these
things at one time-----THEY TAKE CALLS from their CLIENTS,
they send the DRIVERS TO THEIR DESTINATIONS, they do
ADD-ONS when a client is finished EARLY, and they print
schedules out of their computers. They jokingly refer to
themselves as OCTOPI, because they do so much! The
dispatchers are located on a building on West 4th.
Dispatcher jobs can be considered among the more
stressful of occupations. Stephanie, Joanne, Mary, and
Suzanne are a few of the dispatchers I know personally, and
I can vouch for their fine INTERPERSONAL SKILLS.
DRIVER ASSISTANCE- The drivers will assist wheelchair riders and will
provide support to ambulatory riders who need assistance.
For additional care and assistance, rider must have a
Personal Care Assistant (PCA).NOTE: Drivers are not allowed into the rider's homes.
CARRY-ON ITEMS-Please limit number of carry-on items to four grocery bags.
Drivers are more than happy to assist with carry-on items;
however, they will only carry items from the bus to a point
just inside the destination door.
WHO IS ELIGIBLE TO USE THE CITILIFT:People who are deemed disabled by their PRIMARY
PHYSICIAN, and who are UNABLE TO USE THE BUS STOP
DUE TO THEIR DISABILITIES.
BUS PASSES:Bus passes can be purchased at the BUS STATION at 123
COURT STREET. Passes for the following month can be
purchased by the 15th of the month, or they can be mailed
to you provided that you send them a
SELF-ADDRESSED-STAMPED ENVELOPE. The passes usually
cost $40, but they can be discounted according to your
monthly income.
DAYS OF OPERATION:The CITILIFT runs from MONDAY-SATURDAY, from
6:30am-6:30pm. Their phone number is 719-546-2484.

Yesterday's Hailstorm

Hailstorm bashes Pueblo
CHIEFTAIN PHOTOS/JOHN JAQUES -- Two men cover their car with blankets to help protect it from hail in the 100 block of Michigan Street after a strong storm moved through Pueblo Wednesday afternoon causing major damage throughout the city.
Bill Schwabe removes broken glass from a window at Gotcha Covered on Union Avenue after Wednesday's storm.
Falling ice smashes windows, dents cars
By JAMES AMOS THE PUEBLO CHIEFTAIN
A hailstorm pounded parts of Pueblo on Wednesday afternoon, breaking windshields, damaging trees and flooding streets.A tornado from the storm touched down about 5:15 p.m. in Baca County northwest of Pritchett but did no damage.Riley Frazee, director of Baca County Division of Emergency Management, said the twister, reported by the public, touched down for a few minutes and then quickly rose back into the clouds."The storm was moving quick to the southeast and it came close to a residence. The people who lived there got quite a scare," Frazee said. In Pueblo, golf ball-sized hail was reported across the Downtown and North Side areas, breaking windows and damaging trees.Spokesman Jim Hall of the National Weather Service near the Pueblo Memorial Airport said even larger hail was reported to the south and east of Pueblo."We had reports of tennis ball-sized hail in Blende," he said. "So it was kind of a mess."The hail came from a fast-moving thunderstorm that boiled up over north Fremont County and reached Pueblo about 2 p.m. Several weak weather fronts have been pushing through, Hall said. The moisture from those and cold air dragged in by the systems caused Wednesday's fierce storm and could do the same again today.The Weather Service headquarters received more than an inch of water from the storm, Hall said.Hall said the damage caused by the storms isn't surprising with hail that large. Additionally, hot weather can make windshields easier to break when cold water and ice hit them.The temperature dropped during the storm from 75 degrees to 59 degrees.The hail wreaked havoc on the fleet of the Pueblo Police Department."The police department got hit hard," said Deputy Chief John Ercul while cleaning broken glass from his new, unmarked police cruiser. "I don't know how many (cars were damaged), but it's quite a few."May Martinez-Hendershot of State Farm said the insurance company received more than 530 claims filed on broken auto windows by 5:30 p.m. Wednesday."We'll be out there first thing," Thursday to look at the damage, she said.The storm caused street flooding when storm drains became plugged, but no serious flooding was reported, according to city and county officials.Pueblo City Manager Jerry Pacheco said he was at City Hall when the hail hit and it broke building windows and glass lights along Union Avenue.Greg Severance, head of public works for Pueblo County, said the Vineland and St. Charles Mesa areas received a lot of hail but not enough water to cause roads to be damaged by flooding."We've got the typical tree branches (down) and whatnot," he said. "But the Mesa got hit hard."Lynn Wittenburg, vice president of marketing at The Professional Bull Riders, said via Twitter that the damage was extensive near Union Avenue."We now have 100 employees with hail damage all calling their insurance agents," she said.Jared Garcia, contract supervisor at Binswanger Glass in the Midtown area, said people tried to avoid damage by driving into the company's large garage as the hail hit.That worked for some, but not Garcia himself. The windows on his new car were broken and the body panels dented.The glass company was deluged by callers to have cars and homes repaired, he said Wednesday afternoon."We're already scheduled into next week," he said. "And that's only two hours after it happened."Some Pueblo farmers reported heavy hail, while some were relieved that their crops had been missed by the quick-passing storm.Joe Mauro, who grows a variety of vegetables between 35th and 38th lanes, said his land received some rain, but no hail."It missed us for a change," Mauro said, noting that "we got hit hard about three weeks ago. That storm tore up a lot of our crops, but we're doing OK now. We're back in business."Nearby, Shane Milberger said his produce was hit hard Wednesday."It's not good," Milberger said. "We got hit pretty good."He reported "quarter to 1-inch size hail" fell for approximately 25 minutes, taking a toll on any of the produce it hit on the 250 acres that he farms between Lane 20 and Lane 39.Milberger, who grows chile, pumpkin, squash and cantaloupe, said he couldn't estimate the amount of crop damage "until I can get out and evaluate the crops."He said it will take at least four weeks to recover. "We need to reset and regrow."Milberger said six days of steady rainfall has been equally damaging to his crops. "It hurts the fruit that lays on the muddy ground," he said. "It's muddy and you tear up the field bringing out the crops. It just makes our work harder."In Avondale, Tom Rusler said he was in the fields looking over his crops and heard the storm approaching."We know when you hear that steady roar that we're going to get something. Thankfully, it wasn't worse. There was no wind to drive it," Rusler said.He estimated the hail that pounded his land as "ping-pong" ball size that fell for about 10 minutes."The crops were hurt but they look OK," Rusler said. "We grow pinto beans, corn, onions, which can take a little more abuse."We just hope it doesn't start up again. But it looks like round 2 may be coming later today."In other hail notes:In Pueblo West, the fast-moving storm dumped more than an inch of rain in 10 minutes, while other areas received little or no moisture at all.Hail ranging in size from peas to quarters fell in the area just north of U.S. 50, where the heaviest rainfall was reported.Roadside ditches were still spilling over onto the road an hour after the storm.Heavy rain with no hail was reported in the golf course area and just west of Purcell Boulevard, while further west, near Pueblo West High School, was left dry after the storm had passed.One North Side resident reported that golf ball-size hail pounded the area for five minutes, "making for some treacherous moments."Steve Nawrocki, executive director of Pueblo SRDA, said windshields of several cars parked in the senior center and health department across the street had been shattered by the hard-hitting hail.University Park was hit twice by hail, the first round just after 2 p.m. when quarter-size hail hit the neighborhood. It stopped for a few minutes before another round of marble-size hail fell for about five minutes. The rainfall lasted approximately 30 minutes.A severe thunderstorm rolled across southern Las Animas County to the east at about 3 p.m. Weather spotters in the area reported golf-ball-sized hail and damaging winds in excess of 60 mph.Another storm moved out of Pueblo County to Otero County hitting parts of Fowler at 3 p.m. Weather spotters west of town reported marble-sized hail and heavy rain.A wall of similar severe thunderstorms stretched across portions of Bent and Prowers counties as well. Huerfano County also was plagued by storms.

My THEORIES on IDIOCY

ALL ABOUT IDIOTS, and WHAT CAUSES THEM:
A person MIGHT BE AN IDIOT if he/she: ....throws away a donut because it had a hole in it .
....thinks manuel labor is the President of Puerto
Rico.
...they checked their mail box in the front yard
after their computer said"You've got mail."
...they had a strange desire to post a definition for
no apparent reason.
...they watched their collegues start up the new
office PC and started thinking that the passwords were rows
of asterii
...they moved and took the numbers on their
houses because they didn't want to change their address
...they got fired from a M&M factory for throwing out all the
W's
they took their radio with them on vacations so
they could pick up their favorite stations.
I have a theory about WHAT CAUSES IDIOTS. It's
about the PLANET EARTH, and about how it is caught in a
SPACE-TIME WARP. My THEORY is about TIME AND SPACE
and how they are ALL woven together, forming a
four-dimensional fabric called "space-time." The tremendous
mass of Earth DIMPLES this fabric, much like A BOWLING
BALL sitting in the middle of a trampoline. Gravity is simply
the MOTION of objects following the curvaceous lines of the
DIMPLE. If Earth were stationary, that would be the end of
the story. But Earth is NOT stationary. It SPINS AROUND ON
ITS AXIS, AND THIS SPIN TWISTS THE DIMPLE, PULLING IT
AROUND into a 4-DIMENSIONAL SWIRL. It's THIS SWIRL that
ALSO TWISTS THE minds and THINKING OF CERTAIN
PEOPLE, THUS MAKING THEM IDIOTIC. Stopping the EARTH'S ROTATION would have NO
EFFECTS ON THESE IDIOTS, BECAUSE, if we were ABLE to
stop the Earth with no bad consequences, life on a
non-rotating or retrograde (backwards) rotating planet
would be very strange. On a retrograde rotating planet, the
sun and all the stars would rise in the west and set in the
east. If the rotation was very slow, the day could be very
long, and if it was FAST, the day could be only a FEW HOURS
LONG. This would make NO DIFFERENCE to the IDIOTS, at
ALL, SINCE THEY THINK AND FEEL THIS WAY, all the TIME! Either way, we LOSE...

The HAILSTORM

The hailstorm shredded my ROOF, and made an AWFUL NOISE! At FIRST, I thought it was KIDS THROWING ROCKS AT THE HOUSE, but when I looked outside, all I SAW WERE HUGE CHUNKS OF ICE FALLING FROM THE SKY!!!

Damaging hail, flooding across Colorado Springs, Pueblo
Story By: Bea KarnesSource: KOAA
Published Wed Jul 29, 2009, 02:59 PM MDT Updated Wed Jul 29, 2009, 04:46 PM MDT -->
Major thunderstorms slammed much of Southern Colorado Wednesday afternoon, causing street and small stream flooding.
Hailstones the size of golf balls in Pueblo broke windows and windshields, downed tree limbs and shredded flowers and vegetable gardens.Flooding has been reported on Austin Bluffs near UCCS. Minor flooding has been reported on streets in the northeastern part of Colorado Springs. There's a lot of water on Academy in the Austin Bluffs and Woodmen areas.Other damage--farms on the Mesa in Pueblo County were reportedly hit hard. There are also reports of flooding at the judicial building in Pueblo.

nadine

My name----it is said-----means HOPE. Mom said that when I
was born, she named me NADINE, because I WAS
EVERYTHING THAT I HOPED FOR. Daddy said that he HOPED
I DIDN'T START A WAR. As a child, I DISLIKED MY NAME,
INTENSELY, so much SO, that I REFUSED TO ANSWER TO IT.
In MY MIND, the name NADINE conjured up IMAGES of
STERN, hatchet-faced women, who were SHORT-TEMPERED
and/or NUTS. Nadines----in MY MIND----were THREATENING
women! They were the KIND OF WOMEN who would take
WORMS out of the mouths of BABY ROBINS, and EAT THEM
RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM!!! Nadines HATED anything SMALL,
FUZZY and CUTE. Next to HOUSEPAINT and LIGHTBULBS,
BABY ROBINS were the PITS! But ONCE I started writing a STORY, with the MAIN
CHARACTER named NADINE, I found that this NAME
CONJURED UP IMAGES OF PLAYFULNESS and
MISCHIEVIOUSNESS. Guess I SORTA GREW UP...

The Killer Dummies-Part 7-By Nadine Noriega

Sgt Falconian chased his assailant out of the
storeroom and down the hallway. He lost him near the floral
department---the little man was ALLERGIC TO PLANTS, and
his sneezing watery eyes, and sore throat put a stop to the
hope of catching his assailant. The next day he fell sick. He'd gone to see Dr Nichols, who'd diagnosed him
with a virus, which was going around town. The symptoms
were very NASTY: A HIGH FEVER, STOMACH CRAMPS AND
DIARRHEA, upset stomach, and chills and weakness. Nadine,
meanwhile, had gotten over HER illness, and was now at
Lobelia's making a PEST OF HERSELF. Lobelia was taking
CARE of her, while the little man was getting over his virus. She had followed Lobelia around the house,
literally FOLLOWED him, EVERYWHERE----until he went to the
MEN'S ROOM, and he'd had to forcibly SHOVE HER OUT, so
he could go in there and DO HIS BUSINESS, in PEACE! She
had adjusted the TINT FEATURE on the TV, so that EVERY
PROGRAM LOBELIA WATCHED, HAD HAD A BLUISH TINT. Mr Wolverine's sister had parked her car down the
street, and when she'd gone in to visit her BROTHER, the
winged creature had crawled through a window, and has
started up the WINDSHIELDS! Soon after THAT, she had
ATTACKED the VACUUM CLEANER Lobelia was using, to
vacuum the rug. She had CLIMBED ON TOP OF IT, HISSING
and SNARLING AT IT, AND GRABBING AT THE LINT BAG.
Before Lobelia could STOP her, the winged creature had
dislodged the bag, sending LINT and DUST EVERYWHERE! It did NO GOOD to SCOLD her----indeed, Lobelia
always FELT BAD when he did, because then Nadine would
look up at him with her pools of liquid brown orbs, her lower
lip would start to tremble------and Lobelia ALWAYS felt like a
MONSTER...He took her up to the ROOF to FEED THE
PIGEONS, and THIS TURNED OUT TO BE A HORRIBLE
MISTAKE, because AFTER THAT, the winged creature kept
making little BIRD NOISES, and cocking her head to one
side, each time Lobelia spoke to her. It got worse. During lunch, Lobelia noticed that his
lampshade was MISSING. He looked EVERYWHERE for it,
thinking that he'd misplaced it, when he'd cleaned up the
front room. Suddenly, he heard someone laughing in the
courtyard, and talking about a tree. He glanced out the
window, and was MORTIFIED to see that the
lampshade-----AND HIS THICK RED BLOOMERS, were BOTH
HANGING FROM THE TREE! His TEMPER------and his NOSTRILS flared, when he
glimpsed Nadine swiftly padding down the hall towards the
dayroom. It was already PAST time for her BATH----she had
been HIDING from him FOR THE PAST 45 MINUTES! When she
SAW HIM, she broke into a RUN. "YOU------GET-----BACK-------HERE!!!!" Lobelia panted,
as he chased the winged creature into the dayroom. Then
he yelled to whomeverr was in the room, "CATCH HER!!!!
SHE'S GETTING AWAY!!!!" Nadine barreled down the
dayroom, like a freight train. Without looking where she was
going, she barreled HEADFIRST into a large mannequin,
which was standing next to a table. The impact sent the
mannequin's head flying off into Mrs. McCarthy's CHICKEN
SOUP! She screamed and swooned, as the mannequin's
head rolled off the table, onto the floor. Everyone in the dayroom FLED!

Tomatoes are NOTHING but TROUBLE!!!

I found THIS QUOTE from an ARTICLE ABOUT TOMATOES: Did you ever watch a bumblebee work a tomato
blossom? When it does, it pulls the flower down into a
vertical position, puts its fat belly against the stigma, and
buzzes. The pollen that is released, now will fall by gravity
(since the flower is now tilting down) directly to the bee's
fuzzy (and statically charged) belly, which is rubbing against
the sticky stigma as it vibrates. Tomatoes are self fertile,
but the pollen can come from any other tomato that the bee
has visited, a bane for seed growers who want to keep
varieties pure, but lovely for the gardener who wants
fruit.The size of the fruit is dependent on the number of
ovules fertilized, up to the 100% mark. In other words, the
more seeds, the meatier the 'mater. So we want to get
pollination as full as possible. This is the reason the bee is
best, it delivers the most grains of pollen, exactly where it is needed, on the sticky surface of the stigma. When shaking is done by hand, think about
mimicking the natural resonances of sonicating bees.
Shaking should not be violent, just as close to the right
frequency as possible. Electric vibrators were long used in greenhouses
for tomatoes, but have been replaced, as bumblebees are
found to be far more efficient. So THIS MEANS THAT IF I CAN'T FIND ANY BEES
TO POLLINATE MY TOMATOES, I HAVE TO GO DOWN TO
THAT ADULT VIDEO STORE, downtown, and BUY AN
ELECTRIC VIBRATOR, BECAUSE----------the article says-----------
"The best pollinator for tomatoes is the original, a bee
which "sonicated" at the resonant frequency of the flower.
Sonication, also called buzz pollination is when the bee
vibrates its wing muscles but doesn't fly; it just hangs on. The reason is that tomato pollen is not in the
exterior of the anthers like most flowers, rather it is
produced internally and then released thru pores in the
anther. Motion is required to release the pollen, and the
greatest quantity is released by sonication of the correct
frequency. However other bees with different frequency, or
even shaking by wind will release some pollen. It's gonna be TOUGH explaining TO JOANNE
WHY I NEED A CITILIFT VAN TO GO TO THE ADULT STORE!
...And I can IMAGINE THE LOOKS I'D GET FROM THE
DRIVER----------AND the ADULT STORE PEOPLE----------THAT I
NEED THE VIBRATOR FOR MY TOMATOES.... Well, if I HAD KNOWN that TOMATOES were such
FREAKS AND PERVS, I would NEVER HAVE PLANTED THOSE
THINGS!!! You have to CAGE THEM, and if you DON'T HAVE A
CAGE, you NEED TO TIE THEM UP...You need BEES for them,
now that article says I NEED VIBRATORS IF I CAN'T GET THE
BEES for them! What's NEXT, I wonder? BONDAGE COLLARS?
WHIPS? CHAINS? SPIKED NECKLACES? Can you IMAGINE the KIND OF LOOKS I WOULD
GET when I'D HAVE TO GET THESE VIBRATOR THINGS and
then TELL THE CLERK IT'S FOR MY TOMATOES??? And the
CITILIFT DRIVERS....I can IMAGINE WHAT THEY WOULD TELL
EACH OTHER------and JOANNE AND STEPHANIE----about how
KINKY I HAVE BECOME... Tomatoes are NOTHING but TROUBLE!

I was thinking about those UPSIDE DOWN PLANTERS, that
they use to PLANT TOMATOES. I was WONDERING-------do you
have to HANG FROM THE CEILING UPSIDE DOWN, LIKE A
BAT, to WATER THEM??? THAT'S A NEAT IDEA, planting your TOMATOES ON THE CEILING. Just THINK OF ALL THE SPACE YOU CAN SAVE, doing that! No more HAVING ALL THOSE PLANTERS TAKING UP YOUR LIVING SPACE, no more DIRT on your floors. Upside down planters ARE THE WAY TO GO!!! Now that I'm THINKING about GETTING AN
UPSIDE DOWN PLANT, this got me to thinking: I could GLUE
A CHAIR AND A TABLE TO THE CEILING and maybe even
GLUE a CLOSET UP THERE, TOO, to put my CLOTHES
IN----THIS WOULD SAVE A WHOLE LOT OF SPACE, I THINK. I
STILL HAVEN'T DECIDED whether or NOT TO PUT A SMALL
COT UP THERE. I'd be AFRAID OF FALLING DOWN.... I could get some STRAPS to STRAP MYSELF IN,
like the ASTRONAUTS DO-------------If THEY can do these
things, I don't SEE ANY REASON WHY I CAN'T! I could EVEN
get a LADDER, and take some FOOD UP THERE, and EAT
LUNCH UP THERE.. I THINK I'd have to GLUE MY FOOD
DOWN ON MY PLATE. I don't know HOW I'M GOING TO GLUE
THE TOILET UP THERE...The minute I FINISH doing what I
HAVE to do, EVERYTHING'S GOING TO HIT THE FAN---which I
plan to PUT ON THE FLOOR, which'll be the NEW CEILING... Well anyway, THAT'S WHAT I PLAN on DOING...